Early Sunsets For Jacob
by Lilith D'Aubigne
Summary: Giving up hope, Jacob decides to kill himself. His musings about losing Bella to Edward. Songfic to 'Early Sunsets Over Monroeville.' Dedicated to Lexi, the extreme Twilight fanatic overlord.


Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any other affiliated books, Stephnie Meyer does.

I'm just gonna borrow Jacob for awhile. I'll give him back when I'm done! Or not...

Jacob Black rubbed his red-rimmed eyes. He hadn't actually slept in days. Sure, he'd had a few fitful hours of unwilling half-consciousness here and there when his fatigue had gotten the better of him. It had all lead up to this. In his shaking hands he held a small handgun containing a single bullet. With it, he planned to take his life. He had nothing left. The pack had turned their back on him, his father was dying, and Bella, **his Bella**, was about to become something...inhuman. To continue living, it just wasn't worth it.

Unbeknownst to him, about a mile away, Alice had gotten a glimpse of what he was going to do. With Bella's transformation taking place, the Cullen residence was already abuzz with excitement and nervousness. Seeing Alice's distant face, Emmett, thinking it had something to do with the event at hand, began to hound her about what she had seen.

"What did you see? Huh, Alice? Did you see what Bella will be like?" He felt it important to keep tabs on his new sister-in-law. One look at Alice's face silenced him.

She was shaking. She had watched in horror as Jacob Black, the bold and brash wolf-boy who had been smitten with her sister-in-law, raised a gun to his head and pull the trigger. A single shot had sounded, and now the image of blood and skull fragments on a coarse tree trunk was still burned into her vision. "Jacob's going to kill himself." she murmured, staring into nothingness.

"What?" asked Emmett, worried about the usually perky vampire.

"Jacob Black is going to kill himself." she said, seeming to snap out of her trance.

"So?" he asked, "Who cares if the dog kills himself? I obviously don't."

"But Bella will! Think of what this would do to her!"

"She probably won't even remember him." Emmett shrugged.

"But what if she does?"

"That could be a problem." Esme said, poking her head through the doorway of the Cullen's enormous, white living-room. Her ultra-sensitive hearing had picked up their grave conversing. "I'm going to stop him." she announced with a wary glance at the two. 'They weren't going to like this.' she thought.

But Alice gave her a knowing glance and told Esme Jacob's approximate location. Emmett slumped back onto the couch. "I still don't see the need to stop him."

Esme could see the figure of a tall boy looming behind a section of thin trees. Quietly approaching, she easily took the gun from his loose grasp. He hadn't even heard her coming. His fatigue had drowned out his senses.

She placed a hand on his shoulder. It was strange. She had never actually touched a werewolf before. There really wasn't much to hate about them. Finding her voice, she said in a motherly tone, "You don't want to do this. Think of what it would do to Bella."

"Better than what the likes of you have done to her." he choked out, tears welling in his eyes.

Esme bit her lip. She really shouldn't do this. "Jake, do you want...to see Bella?"

Too tired to fight, he merely took back the gun and pocketed it, following her back through the woods.

Disappearing into the house for a few moments, Esme reappeared and led Jacob inside. Passing the kitchen, he noted that Edward was being restrained by his two brothers. Jacob felt safer knowing this. He followed her up a flight of stairs and into a small, usually unused room and let out a small gasp. Bella lie limp in a small bed in the corner, hooked up to at least ten IVs of what looked like morphine. Esme closed the door and left them alone. He pulled up a chair next to the bed. Bella had passed out, but her face still seemed twisted in pain.

_Late dawns and early sunsets,  
Just like my favorite scenes,  
Then holding hands and life was perfect,  
Just like up on the screen. _

_And the whole time while always giving,  
Counting your face among the living._

They were taking her away from him, this may be the last time he would ever see his precious Bella.

_Up and down escalators,  
Pennies and colder fountains,  
Elevators and half price sales,  
Trapped in by all these mountains._

_Running away and hiding with you,  
I never thought they'd get me here.  
Not knowing you'd change from just one bite,  
I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight._

Why did Edward have to come back? Everything was perfectly fine without him. Sure, Bella was pretty upset, but he was sure he could make her forget about him eventually. A monster like Edward didn't deserve her. He pulled the gun back from his pocket.

_But does anyone notice?  
But does anyone care?  
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...  
But would anything matter if you're already dead?  
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?  
Before I pull this trigger,  
Your eyes vacant and stained..._

Even this gun wouldn't kill her. She was no longer a fragile human in need of his protection, she was one of them. Jacob could already smell the vampire on her, icy and sickeningly sweet.

_But does anyone notice?  
But does anyone care?  
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...  
And would anything matter if you're already dead?  
And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said?  
Before I pull this trigger,  
Your eyes vacant and stained...  
And in saying you loved me,  
Made things harder at best,_

He had always wanted her to love him. When she finally admitted to it, he thought he would be happy, but it had only made losing her all the more painful.

_And these words changing nothing  
As your body remains,  
And there's no room in this hell,  
There's no room in the next,  
And our memories defeat us,  
And I'll end this direst._

She would never be the same and there nothing he could do about it.

_But does anyone notice?  
But does anyone care?  
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...  
But does anything matter if you're already dead?  
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?  
Before I pull this trigger,  
Your eyes vacant and stained..._

He put the gun away.

_And in saying you loved me,  
Made things harder at best,  
And these words changing nothing  
As your body remains,  
And there's no room in this hell,  
There's no room in the next,_

There was no point in staying here. Standing, he bent over and lightly kissed Bella's cheek. Jacob smiled sadly.

_But does anyone notice there's a corpse in this bed?_

Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it! This is my first fic so I hope I did ok. Jacob shall continue to live until Stephnie Meyer decides to finish him. I hope she doesn't! By the way, this song is written by My Chemical Romance.


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